


Promises Kept

by StackerPentecost



Category: The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Guns, M/M, Nightmares, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:34:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25762207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StackerPentecost/pseuds/StackerPentecost
Summary: Billy is gone. Frank is at the end of his rope.---Graphic violence warning as a precaution, nonetheless heed the warnings and the tags.
Relationships: Frank Castle/Billy Russo
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	Promises Kept

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the darkest thing I've ever written and that's okay. Shoutout to the brank server once again.

A gentle laugh, followed by a soft moan escaping his lips. Smooth hands caressed down his body, stroking along sensitive skin. That perfect feeling of being filled and stretched, completed in a way that was only possible with this man. Kisses that tasted like coffee and smoke, kisses that he was surprised he was even allowed to have. He was surprised he was allowed to have any of this. When did good things ever happen to him? But this had happened. _He_ had happened. 

The most beautiful moans from that perfect mouth. Hands on his hips, nails that dug into his skin. A hand tugging on his collar, wrapping around his throat. The pleasant floating sensation that followed. Handprints on the inside of his thighs and on his ass. The bliss that followed their climax.   
  
Soft, slow breaths. Arms wrapped around his shoulders, long fingers combing through his hair. Praises whispered in his ear, the feeling of the warm metal of a ring against his skin as he was brought in for a kiss.

* * *

Frank woke up retching. He felt hot all over, a layer of sweat coating his skin, the sheets sticking to his body. He could feel his arousal, hard and stiff against him. It made him retch even more as he tried to sit up, only to double over, the force of the heaving shaking his whole body. But there was nothing to spit up, his stomach having been empty for quite some time. Eating was not high on his list of priorities anymore. 

He could still feel Bill’s hands on his hips, his lips on his own. He could hear Bill’s voice, smooth and velvety as they made love, whispering praises in his ear that he wished he’d committed to memory. He could still hear Billy’s breathing and the sound of his heart beating steadily while Frank laid his head against his chest. Hearing that sound made tears prick at his eyes, even though he did his best to hold them back. Even the collar around his neck, the one he knew Bill had spent weeks deciding on, wanting it to be perfect, felt like it was strangling him when it used to be a source of comfort. Every time he moved, the engraved tag jangled, the sound something he was no longer able to ignore. It was constantly ringing in his ears, reminding him that Bill wasn’t here anymore. Still, he refused to remove it, refused to get rid of what little he had left of his husband. 

As Frank pulled back the sheets, the freezing cold air of the room hit him all at once. No matter how cold he made the room, it was never the same as having Bill’s cool body next to his warm one while he slept. 

The apartment felt too big, too empty, completely hollow. Frank never knew a place could feel so without life until now. It no longer felt like home. Everywhere he turned, he was reminded of Bill, and could practically feel his presence in the room. It was like living in a home that was haunted, though the ghost was always just out of sight. 

Frank wandered the apartment, willing the memories to fade but it seemed every time he almost cleared his head, they would only come back stronger. Thankfully, the lust from his dream had faded, though it left him feeling numb, a feeling he was becoming very familiar with. Numbness was now Frank’s normal state, though he often dipped into other, just as awful feelings, though they came less and less as time went on. Deep down, he was afraid he was soon going to be stuck in that numb state forever, with no way out.

He should’ve known better. He should’ve known there was no happy ending for them. 

He should’ve known that with Rawlins involved, there was going to be no easy way out for them. It had been a miracle that they’d managed to leave the service with Billy’s company and their lives still intact. Frank should’ve known that Rawlins would never willingly let them get out and just stay alive without consequence, not with the things they knew. He had never been too happy about how close they were either, saw it as a weakness, so it probably pissed him off, even more, when they got married. 

Frank’s heart gave a painful ache, suddenly very aware of the wedding band still on his finger. He’d refused to take it off, even though he knew it just made Billy’s memory all the more palpable. 

That night had been the happiest of his life. The ceremony was small, with just a few friends, but seeing Billy dressed to the nines in his dress uniform, seeing how truly happy he looked, getting to proclaim how they felt to everyone, and then being tied together as permanently as possible, had been nothing short of amazing. They’d spent the next week in the Maldives, barely leaving their bed. Frank couldn’t remember a time in his life when he’d been so happy. 

He just hadn’t known till death do us part would come so soon. 

Suddenly everything came back in a wave, making him physically stumble back a few steps. He could still hear Billy’s urgent voice as they tried to navigate the gunfire, then the awful gurgling noise Bill had made as he was hit again, falling to his knees. Frank had known immediately that he was too badly injured to survive, as easily as he knew the day of the week. This is what he’d been trained to understand, but despite that knowledge, he still tried to stop the bleeding, putting pressure on the wounds and begging Bill not to leave. He could still distinctly remember how Bill had tried his best to reassure him, just like he always had, even as he lay dying. Those dark eyes had never looked more hollow than when Bill was gone. 

Frank stumbled toward the bathroom, falling to his knees at the toilet, retching once again. All that came up was a watery mixture of bile and the bit of day-old coffee he’d forced himself to drink in an effort to get something in his stomach. 

It took a few minutes, but finally, he stopped heaving, his stomach too empty to give up anything else. Frank gulped down several deep breaths, trying to get ahold of himself. He shivered, pressing himself back against the wall before bringing his knees up and wrapping his arms around them. He rested his head on his knees and willed his mind to clear so perhaps he could try and get some more sleep. He closed his eyes, figuring a bit of a nap here would at least count for something. Slowly, Frank dozed off, sleep pulling him back under.

* * *

“Wake up, Frankie.” 

Consciousness seeped into Frank’s senses. He soon became aware of a soft voice in his ear, a set of fingers combing steadily through his hair. He sleepily leaned into the unexpected touch, letting out a soft hum. Slowly, his eyes opened, lifting his head and sitting up.The second he realized what he was seeing, his heart clenched in his chest and tears welled in his eyes. His voice came out barely above a whisper, “Bill?”

Before him, Billy was crouched down to his level, his eyes warm, a smile on his face. “Hey there, Frankie.” 

Frank swallowed against the lump that had formed in his throat. The tears threatened to spill over. “Bill…” Frank couldn’t string any words together beyond his name. He reached out to him, found purchase in the sweater Billy wore. It was green, soft to the touch, and Frank could remember when he’d picked it out. He was so damn beautiful in it, just like everything he wore. Frank couldn’t stop the sob that escaped his lips as he pulled Bill in close, releasing his sweater to wrap his arms around Billy.

“Bill...God, Bill I miss you so much.” Frank croaked, his body trembling as he felt Billy slip his arms around him. 

“I know, Frank, I know. I miss you too.” Billy murmured, burying his nose in Frank’s hair. 

Frank knew something was wrong here, even as he inhaled the scent of Billy’s cologne, of the moisturizer he used, his scent slightly smoky thanks to the fancy cigarettes he smoked when he was stressed. He could _feel_ Billy, his body firm beneath Frank’s touch. But in the back of his head, images of Billy’s death flashed through his mind. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Frank whispered, leaning into Billy’s chest, “I don’t know how to live without you.” 

“You don’t have to, Frankie, not if you don’t want to,” Bill told him.

Frank pulled back so he could look into Billy’s eyes. “What do you mean?”  
  
Frank didn’t understand what Billy was reaching for until he brought his hand back and showed him the Smith and Wesson semi-auto he kept stashed beside their bed. He placed it into Frank’s hand. 

The logical part of Frank screamed that there was no way this was possible. And yet, the gun felt as real as Billy did, the weight heavy in his hand. 

“You can be with me again, Frankie. We can be together like we should have always been.” Bill reached to cup Frank’s cheek and Frank’s heart lurched at the sight of those dark eyes that he had fallen so deeply in love with. “Please,” Billy implored, “I don’t want to be without you.”   
  
Frank glanced down at the gun, then back up at Billy. “Will you be there, waiting for me?”   
  
Billy gave a small smile. “I’ve been waiting for you ever since I left.” 

Frank knew he should be scared, most people were, at least a little. But he wasn’t most people. He wanted this, he wanted to be with Billy. 

He clicked off the safety. “Stay, until it’s done?”

Billy nodded, “I’m not going anywhere.” 

That gave Frank what he needed. He lifted the gun, pressing the cool metal against his skin, knowing very well just where to place it. He was comforted by the fact that Billy’s face would be the last thing he would see. “I love you, more than I ever thought I was capable of.” 

Bill leaned to kiss him, his lips just as soft as Frank remembered. “I love you too.” The words were whispered against his mouth. 

Frank reached to take hold of Billy’s hand, lacing their fingers. “I promised you forever,” His voice was surprisingly calm given the circumstances, “I intend to give it to you.” 

“I know, Frank, you always keep your promises.”   
  
Frank’s finger found the trigger. One quick flex, one twitch of a muscle.

Nothing.

Then a voice, one he would recognize anywhere.

“I knew you’d come home to me, Frankie.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm saintaleksander on Tumblr.


End file.
